Thanks for the link sister. There is both truth and annoying stereotype there (why do men dislike women so much to say these nasty things about getting married to one?) Your comment in response is very perceptive, I think, bringing the information there to a new level. Thank you especially for sharing that.
Personally, I do not really know either of these worlds. Believe it or not. If being single means not living with a person of the opposite sex...then the time I have spent as a single in my life (not counting childhood) is very short. Perhaps a year in total, in bits and pieces. Nor have I ever been married (the father of my children has still not divorced the wife that he is separated from). Except in the sense that the government considers a person a common-law spouse (for the sake of their own paperwork) if he/she lives with another person.
In the future I plan to get the best of both worlds... First one, then the other. In the right order. :-)
lafemmeg2 wrote on Apr 2, '05, edited on Apr 2, '05
oh, well, I am glad you find it interesting as well. When I saw the further replies below mine, so deep and personal, I thought of opening the ring.
In particular I am a single person from every point of view, with a terrible panic about marriage and/or sealing lifetime contracts. Freedom is a world too heavy for me. And I see too much despair and separation and violence and suffering because of broken families, that it really scares me.
One the other hand, but likewise, I know that with "the one" I could make it the whole way through. Because I know all that I am capable of giving, and because something inside completely different to what I ever felt before tells me that my hand would suit perfectly his.
And I trust this feeling because being single allowed me to know myself a lot better, to listen clearly to my confusions and to have the chance to "act" and not simply "react" because I am attached to someone who I have to decide everything with.
Being single is a hard thing. It is not at all easy. But it is definitely necessary as a phase in our lives (no matter when).
talialina wrote on Apr 2, '05, edited on Apr 2, '05
I totally agree...being single is just as difficult as being married or what not, in life we are always learning new things and in general I feel that we all fear the unknown...all of us in our different ways.
I was single for a long time...I've been on my own since i was 12, my mother always being in the hospital and us siblings at home on our own, in our own bubble, not having a father as well being that he was/is deceased. Then at 15 when I moved away to Ecuador....away from my home and family, not even siblings this time. I was dealing with a lot of emotional issues, and that time by myself helped me discover who I am...it was a time of silence....where I had the opportunity to listen carefully and love myself for who I was.
Indeed I was very young, still am....but I had to grow up fast. Once I completed that obstacle in my life, without searching for it, without need for it, came a soul that introduced me to the next chapter...I'm not married...but having this, what I have now shows me that in our one life...we live many. So in my heart I doubt that marriage is any worse than any other chapter, it just has a different face, a different mask...but overall giving us what every single chapter does...a new experience, a new story...and it can succeed with the right companion.
Thank you for sharing this. I didn´t know the particulars of your history, and I must say that now I understand with more precision the person you are, the one I´ve come to meet. I always thought that a story of a necessarily too fast growing up was behind you. But I thought as well that it might have been a projection of my own past onto you. =)
Now I know better. Thank you.
Bold and brave woman you are, and I completely agree with you in your reflection. From what it touches me as common experience, and what is left for me to live yet, but I imagine it will turn our likewise.
